Facing Challenges Head-On:  Empowering Self-Care vs Avoidant Gratification

In the journey of life, there are moments that beckon for clarity and purpose, where the choices we make can either lead us towards growth or leave us entangled in the webs of confusion and unfulfilled potential.  Among these pivotal choices is developing the habit  of choosing  to prioritize our personal well-being as a cornerstone for holistic living.  A profound analogy of his concept is found in the familiar experience once aboard an airplane.

The Oxygen Mask Principle

Imagine the scenario: you and your daughter just boarded a plane with nearly a hundred other people.  You and everyone else have awkwardly maneuvered down the congested aisle, placed your carry-on luggage in the overhead compartment and have slipped into your narrow seats.  The ground crew closes the airplane door.  A few moments later a flight attendant's voice comes over the cabin speakers to deliver the rehearsed safety and precautions presentation. Among the instructions, a message stands out: "In the unlikely event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop down... Secure your own mask first, and then assist others." This directive, simple yet profound, encapsulates the essence of choosing oneself.

What It Means to Choose Me

To "choose me" is to acknowledge the intrinsic value of your well-being, understanding that you cannot pour from an empty cup. It is a recognition that before you can effectively assist others, your own oxygen mask must be securely in place. 

Too often, this principle is misunderstood.  It does not advocate for a selfish grab of desires at the expense of those around us, or as a means of avoiding ones unpleasant life situation; rather, it's a call to conscious self-care that empowers us to be of greater service to others.

The Misinterpretation

A common misinterpretation of choosing oneself could lead to a misplaced sense of entitlement, where personal whims overshadow the collective good. "I finally chose me and you don't support me," someone might say, mistaking impulsive desires for genuine self-prioritization. This distinction is crucial. Choosing oneself is not an unchecked license to act for immediate gratification, not considering the potential personal consequences and impact on those around us.

Discerning True Self-Choice from Impulse

How then, can we distinguish between a choice that genuinely serves our personal development and one that momentarily satisfies an impulsive want? Here are a few questions to guide you:

• Does this choice contribute to my long-term well-being? Reflect on whether the decision aligns with your deeper values and long-term goals, rather than being a spur-of-the-moment desire.  

• Is this choice driven by a sense of wanting to belong, or a desire to not be like “them”?  If so, you are likely not making the choice, you have given your power to “them”.

• Will this choice enable me to be more present and supportive of others, especially those closest to me? Consider if taking this step will enhance your capacity to be there for those who depend on you.

• Is making this choice an act of avoiding or facing my challenges? True growth comes from facing our challenges head-on, not evading them. Choose paths that confront and transform, not those that bypass and stagnate.

The Journey to Choosing Yourself

Incorporating the principle of "choosing me" into your life is akin to laying a foundation for a house in which everyone you care about can find shelter. It's an act of self-respect and responsibility, recognizing that you are 100% responsible for your life’s experiences. It's about acknowledging your wholeness and completeness, and understanding that "the only way out is through."

An Invitation

This exploration is not just about self-care; it's an invitation to a transformational journey. The path of choosing yourself is lined with lessons of resilience, growth, and empowerment. It teaches us that there are no accidents in life, urging us to take ownership of our experiences and emerge stronger, more compassionate, and fully present for those we love.

As we navigate the currents of life, let us remember the wisdom of securing our oxygen masks first. In choosing ourselves, we find the strength to uplift others, embodying the true spirit of service and interconnectedness. This is not a journey we undertake alone but one that brings us closer to the essence of who we are, guiding us to the realization that we are, indeed, whole and complete. Embrace this journey, for "the only way out is through," and the path is rich with learning and growth.

Let this be your call to embrace adventure, a step towards uncovering the boundless potential within. Choose you. Your journey starts now.